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English Language
English Language (Also known as Frankenstein's Language) is a mix of the German Language, French Language and a whole bunch of other peoples that invaded England over the years. Spelling Spelling rules in English are among the strangest of all of languages. There is almost no correlation left between letters and the sounds they represent. Certain letters and combinations can mean over 9000 different sounds, and likewise, certain sounds can be represented with a myriad of letters and letter combinations. Over the years, spelling reforms have been attempted, but due to the lack of a central organization deciding English, none have worked. After all, spelling "Health", "Helth" looks weird, and no one will ever bother. Words With odd Spelling Here is a short list of words that have spelling that makes no sense. Be it not matching up with the sound, or not acting like a normal compound word: *Through *Though *Thourough *Colonial *Physical *Hours *Fjord *Because *Likable *Two *When *Who *Whom *Women *Throughotwowhomroughoughmen (Have fun if you try to say this!) Gerund-englishing It's true that English is having something called gerund, but if you aren't watching out and overdoing it, this tiny construction can be annoying. Some texts may be bad to read if it's spiking and annoying with a confusing desert of gerunded words. Gerunding is sometimes hard for one to be able be seeing, because English speakers are using the gerund more and more, possibly because all other verbs other than “to be” are lacking declensions Variants Future English (FE) English through the year has lose the grammar declension of it in a slow manner, and as the future continue, the rest of declension will slowly fade. They can see this especially in american English, where the conjunctive be used false and often used as a simple past. If all trends continue, expect an analytic English with about as many features as Chinese. But then again, we'll all be speaking Chinese in a century. Expect: *The loss of the dental fricative (the - de) *No synthetical adjective construction (good - more good gooder - most good) *Verbal constructions with do + verb resp. do + be + progressive verb (do be is, do be liveing sic!) *Adjective construction with an attached "ness" (fun/funny - fun ness, stinky - stink ness) American English (AE) American English, often called Murican English (although it's actually another variety) is a language which is spoken in a North American state. It's stereotype is known for its motherfucking inflated usage of "fuck" with all pre- and suffixes, or, combined with the Redneck variety (which is real Murican!). Another major feature is pronouncing "th" as a "d" in some situations. For example: "Dem fuckin commies!". Another feature of American English is its letter switching, which turns for example "the" to "teh" (de/da and teh are two different words!) or "ghost" to "gohst". Also, the perfect tense in American English uses the word "done" instead of "have". For example: "I done figur'd it out!" Anglish (ÆE) Anglish is one of the valiant failed attempts to repair the English language. It kicks out all the duplicate words and re-adds a structured and ruled grammar. However, because it adds some new words, no one bothered to learn it. The complex and broken gender system make Anglish even worse to use, further limiting its scope. British English (BE) Well, compared to Murican English (also known as American English), British English is a variant with more French and Scandinavic words. You lot, bollocks, colour, petrol and lift are some examples of this variant. The overuse of "Well" in every sentence is part of the British stereotype. (By the way, do you want Fish and Chips, or something random with mint, like a mint tea or mint sos? No? Well, that's bollocks!) Koridan English (CE) Everything most people know about Koridan English is a lie. Koridan English sounds just like American English but has a few differences such as a long o sound in sorry, eh? Isn't in the real accent. International English (IE) Due to the international expansion of the English language as world language, it is going to be more and more uneven. Especially in Asia (Engrish), but also in Europe (Franglais, Denglisch, Poglisz) slivers English into something like dialects or sub-languages. The other International English is the rudimented, simplified version of English. On one side, it is a (and probably the only) way where a person in Kenia can talk with a fisher in Hong Kong, but otherwise it lets English being a (more) simple and uneven language. For example: "Hi, how R U? I'vent seen U for a lot of days! Come with me to eat dinner!" Internet English (WE) Internet English is a variant of English spoken on the Internet and when texting. It has very poor grammar, but it's not as bad as its sister dialect, MLG English. MLG English (M8E) MLG English is a variant of English spoken mainly in The Internet. It has many similarities to Runnerlang, and has little to no respect for grammar. Obsolete English (OE) Bēoƿulf, der echter, se ealdor, ƿæs Ȝēatisc æðelinȝ. If you can't understand this (Obsolete English or Ænglisc), don't worry. Even your great-grandfather would not understand what you mean with a sentence like this above. Was spoken around 700 until the French took over. Some people thought it would be a good idea to revive the language and now there is an Ænglisc Wikipedia: http://ang.wikipedia.org Russian English (RE) Due to a lot of immigration from Mother Russia to England, Russian English is growing. One notable difference is Russian has no articles (a, the) so they often forget to put articles in their speech. (I will crush it like baby on Saturdays!) Engrish Engrish is a version of English spoken in parts of East Asia. It mostly consists of switching 'r's with 'l's and vice versa, hilarious mistranslations, and other strange features that only the Asians would understand. Trivia *Anglish isn't actually a true dialect of English. It is a sub-language. Category:Languages